Another Reason to Move to Scotland: Smacking Co-Workers' Bottoms, Calling Them Naughty Girls OK
--Read More In: Geniuses | International | The Judicial System | Women
For example, Mrs. Middleton proclaims: "Nobody is that friendly with me other than my husband."
Now let's examine that phrase for a second, ok?
Time's up. -Ok; ->Exactly. -Perjury, right?
She's Scottish -And a lawyer. No, Mrs. Middleton; even your husband is not that friendly with you. -And the last time you had your bottom properly spanked before this was at girls' prep school, 32 years ago this May.
And despite the prudish housewife's protestations, Scotland has proved itself the guiding light of the modern world once again by saying essentially, "No Big Deal Glennis; learn how to take a joke and now you two just get the hell along, m'kay?"
If this happened in the US, there would no doubt have been a $450 million lawsuit and the recommendation by the ACLU that straitjackets and leg irons become standard uniform in civil court (at least for everyone but the child molesters).
Now if I can just lean over Sally's desk at work and say something arrogant to her on Monday...
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