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CBS Buys Bleeding-Edge Company CNET, Color Tele-Vision To Follow

--Read More In: Fake News | Media | Technology | Videos | Women

old man 30's tech phone

Early in the morning after a few hearty constitutions and a bran flake enema at the Battle Creek San', Chief Mugwump of the Columbia Broadcasting System Incorporated, aka The Tiffany Network, agreed to buy the brash young scallywag upstart of a company that goes by the initials of C-N-E-T; -no doubt a H.A.M. Radio callsign.

Formerly known as the United Independent Broadcasters, and later as the Columbia Phonographic Broadcasting System, this new-fangled Columbia Broadcasting System, Inc. has had its fingers in the pies of technological pro-gress since the year Nineteen Hundred and Twenty-Seven (just in time for the Great Crash, btw), wildly diving forth into the futuristic field of sound recordings immortalized on wax cylinders and later on the fancier Shell-Lac variety.

Who would have guessed that this startling tale of corporate derring-do would have originated with a man named "Leslie"? -Ho, ho ho! There are in-deed Boers completely inside your fortress, Giving You What-For, Radio Corporation of America!!!

Why Jules Verne himself recently prophesied that high-speed Morse Code style transmissions would soon be rocketing at lightening velocities, -even traversing whole COUNTIES-, across the wild hay-wire tangle of Alternating-Current cables so recently implemented in this great land by George Westinghouse and the Mad Genius, Dr. Nikola Tesla, from the great nation of Serbia!

Good show Leslie, old boy! And don't trust those electric starters! -Always hand-crank your Model-A to get it going!

In fact, here is a short exerpt of Broadcasting Scientist Leslie Moon-ves hard at work in C-N-E-T's Inter - Operational - Networking laboratory crafting a new women's quarterly, (code-named "M.A.R.I.A"):

An inside snoop tells 'the donky' that their first piece will be on theoretical fashion innovations of the future!

After which, they will produce a form of entertainment "Talkie" involving Motion Pictures, Musical Accompaniment by Orchestra (ala an RKO "Radio Picture") and a Dance Troupe Led by Penny Singleton:

You make Arthur Judson and and William S. Paley, proud, Les' ! Keep forging forth at 860kHz!!!!
Happy Days are indeed here again!:

Wikipedia-CBS   Valleywag-CBS/CNET

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Posted by elburro on 05/16/08 | Comments (0) | Email to a friend | AddThis Social Bookmark Button

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